Kindness unto others has never been my struggle – that generally comes to me with ease (though, there are moments, and there are days…) This reminder of course is to guide me in my interactions with others, but more so to remind me that kindness needs to start internally. They say that we are our own worst critic. I am no exception. I have a tendency to set unrealistic expectations for myself, and then I get disappointed when I cannot attain them. This year, I will opt to be kinder to myself. To show myself patience, and to forgive my shortcomings. I cannot be everything to everyone, so I’ve got to let that go. Instead I will try to focus on being the healthiest version of myself: to be a little more selfish; to be my own champion.
I once saw a psychiatrist when I realized that I had lost my passion and drive for art and creative work; something that had once been a pillar in my self-care process. This deeply concerned me, because I was not quite sure what else I could aspire to as intensely. She made me realize that somewhere along the way, the work I was doing caused me to associate creativity with work, stress, and then anxiety. She said I need to be kind to myself (see first intention!), and patient. It will take time, but that passion will come back.
I can’t say I have reached that point yet, but I am at peace with it. I’m trusting the process on this one. I’ve chosen Aspire as one of my 2018 intentions to remind me that I am only one idea away from finding that thing I want to pursue every waking moment of the day. That means keeping myself open to new ideas, trying new things, but not getting caught up in deadlines or expectations with my creative endeavours.
Talk to James (my S/O), and he’ll tell you the one thing he wishes for me is the ability to relax. He knows that my mind rarely rests; I am constantly bouncing from one thought to the next, and back again (even when I’d rather not be). When I’m working on a cool, exciting project this isn’t a bad thing. However, when stress and anxiety set in, it makes it very difficult to move out of that state of mind. So this intention is a big one for me. I want to know what it feels like to Be Still once more; to quietly live in a moment and appreciate it as it is happening.
I don’t know exactly how I’ll accomplish this just yet; whether I need to escape my thoughts, give them an outlet, or a combination of both. I’d like to double down on one thing I know helps me escape: reading. I didn’t read nearly enough last year. But then I’d also like to work on other stillness techniques: meditation, yoga, deep breathing. I’ve dabbled with these, but have yet to find any great success. If you’ve got any ideas, I’m totally open to suggestions!
I am wishing you all the best this year.
May you conquer whatever obstacles cross your path.
May you love and be loved fiercely.
May you strive to be your best selves.